Entry tags:

meta: fanfiction, writing

I said I was going to be interesting in December and Write All The Things, but work is just as soul crushing as ever. I feel like such an uninteresting no one when I get home, and don't want to bother, but maybe I can manage for January! Until then, a ridiculous meme, stolen from several people, and a cautionary tale.



total number of completed stories: 3.5
total word count: 12,529

Overall Thoughts:

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you'd predicted? Way, way less. I had excellent intentions, actually, to finish a ton of WIPs I have sitting around, and it just didn't happen, between going back to school, working full time for eight months of the year...yeah.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January? Oh, geez, Seifer/Squall and Laguna/Squall, definitely. If you had told me in January I would be touching the former I would have pulled a weasel and died laughing. So, er, surprise!

What's your own favorite story of the year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you happiest? Actually, that would be Twenty-Nine Candles, which is my .5 story. It works like it is, and stands alone, but there was a lot more to it, like 8,000 words more that was probably inappropriate for a kiss meme, ha ha! Also, I got terrified and froze, and...I have never been interested in writing for such a HUGE fandom before, and don't really feel like my contributions are worth much. *g*. But even then, it makes me ridiculously happy to have written it and posted it and put a lone toe in the ocean — I just need to dive in, I think, and I could be even happier, once I stopped shivering. Okay, time to put this metaphor out of its misery, cough...

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them? I think my biggest risk was getting over the porn thing? Writing explicit porn? I really don't know if I am that great at it, but er, I forget that I have dudes reading my queer porn, and if they're signing off on it, well, yay! I will take it. I learned, mostly, to not be too afraid of getting filthy? If that makes any sense whatsoever.

Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the New Year? I really, really want to finish the story I started for DOINK! (and failed at) and the one I started for Megaflare (and failed at) and my Dom/Saito puppy!seduction fic (which I failed at), and then wrap up some WIPs like Houses of Ill-Repute and Damages, both hanging on since 2007 and 2008, why do I suck at finishing things. I want 2011 to be the year I finish things, fanfic or original or whatever.

From my past year of writing, what was...

My best story of this year: I really don't know. I think if I had to choose I would choose o speak, bright star, because I really like the emotions and the way I told the story. Getting flashbacks and stories-within-stories to feel right is hard for me, so I think I did a good job.

My most popular story of this year: I think was probably your words are all over me? It has the most activity according to Google Analytics, and the most in-depth feedback, so I guess I did something right! \o/

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: o speak, bright star, because I am greedy. MORE PEOPLE NEED TO LOVE AURON/LULU, THE END.

Most fun story to write:: Oh, for sure Our Nation of Two, because it was awesome to convert all the capslock from seventhe and justira into squeals and flails. I love when I get to make people that awesomely happy, write something they want to see, scratch an itch that writing it yourself never manages to relieve.

Story with the single sexiest moment: I think this is in One Nation of Two, right at the end. It was just really satisfying to me....and also all kinds of fucked up.

Most "Holy crap, that's wrong, even for you" story: ;ASJD;AJF;SAKJLDFGSK.DFHL/K see above.

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters: Probably Twenty-Nine Candles, where I kind of realized I have this strange reading of Arthur that doesn't quite jibe with the fandom-at-large (which is totally okay, I am just always weird!). Writing it helped me to recognize it, and surprisingly made me a more easygoing reader, and solved some of my hangups where I couldn't figure out where everything I wrote felt wrong. Win!

Hardest story to write: I am happy to say that everything I did write this year came fairly easily to me. I wish I could have caught that feeling earlier in the year!

Biggest Disappointment: IN A SURPRISE TWIST, although this is listed above as my Happiest Story, it is also meeting this requirement as well. I AM SUCH A FREAK. Twenty-Nine Candles, because I let myself get caught up in ridiculous things, fear and self-doubt and convinced myself I was not a good enough writer to belong to this fandom, froze, and never salvaged the awesome story I wanted to tell. I was left with a vague snippet that's not sure what it is. I mean, it was a story built around cupcakes and kissing, and in my mind this is the most brilliantly ridiculous story I have ever told (even more than the Cactuar/Zell), except I never, ever told it and am not sure I could now, which makes me sad. :(

Biggest Surprise: your words are all over me, which, if you know me, know that I pretty much OTP Seifer/Zell everywhere, so the fact I deliberately wrote something like this with Seifer fucking Squall, was just SHOCKED by how hard it reached out and grabbed me by the throat and demanded to be written? That has never, ever happened before for a ship I don't even, well, like that much, and I was flabbergasted. Like, wow.

Most Unintentionally Telling Story: I am really not sure how there's much to tell from three and a half stories besides the fact I should write more. What's telling is what's not here — the 64k of Arthur/Eames fic I haven't published, fake marriage and the epic, dudebros-leads-to-unintentional-romance fic with 973842832 OCs and friendship bracelets, the insomnia fic that's kicking me in the face, all the kinkmeme prompts I have bookmarked but can't get over the crippling indecision and fear to fill them. BOO HOO MY LIFE IS SO HARD.


In conclusion: Not the greatest writing year ever fiction wise, but at least I got to write toward the end, and like the things I wrote. Nothing'sbad, and even the story I am the most disappointed in is only a disappointment because I wish I hadn't posted and run away from the concept like the fandom was going to EAT ME or something. I am just way too neurotic and need to get over myself.

I have much higher hopes for 2011!