Text: I love being awesome!Renay ([personal profile] renay) wrote,
@ 2007-07-07 05:38 pm UTC
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Entry tags:fanfic: final fantasy x/x-2

So in my comments [livejournal.com profile] dior_anghel and I were having a discussion about Baralai and Gippal's voices, and then the idea of either of them being attracted on those terms, and apparently resulted in this! I have this obsession with Baralai being polite and proper and then going crazy when someone gets him alone. Baralai the sex maniac?

However, first I owe [livejournal.com profile] owlmoose a poll!

[Poll #1017208]

I'm actually not sure how kink in fandom works (it seems varied and complicated!); I totally love the idea of Baralai being obsessed with Gippal speaking in Al Bhed. Does language count as a kink? Because if so, we can add that one to my short and prudish list of kinks I enjoy, right after "Knock Seifer unconscious with a sleep spell and have him wake up in various states of undress."

Anyway! Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] mneme_forgets for assuring me I didn't embarrass myself 100%. Instead, it's only like...34%.

Speak Easy (1,756 words)
Baralai/Gippal, R/not worksafe
Baralai wants Gippal to talk to him. Really talk to him.

The New Yevon headquarters in Kilika was a marvel, built well and designed with an eye toward Kilika's culture and craft community. Unfortunately, that was all being lost on him today. Baralai stared at the decorations gracing the space as the group of people he was with talked about something. He had lost the thread of the conversation long ago when it had turned toward members of the community rather than the dedication of the building. Baralai didn't wish to be rude, but he was restless—bored. It bothered him; he enjoyed his job on most occasions, and socializing was a part of that, but today he was simply edgy and couldn't pinpoint why. He wanted to leave, but as an invited guest and the one who had dedicated the building, he couldn't do so until the party broke up a little more.

The doors to the headquarters were thrown wide to the late afternoon breeze outside, leaving the path open to everyone who wanted to wander in. Baralai was
proud that the various branches of New Yevon were doing more for the community than the party itself, and he hoped that the atmosphere present tonight would continue.

As he browsed across the party goers, his eyes caught on Gippal, who had come on the behalf of the Machine Faction—or for the free food. Baralai wasn't a fool, and knew Gippal hated politics. He was talking to a girl Baralai didn't recognize, leaning close to her. Baralai watched him gesture, his shirt twisting around him as he moved. Baralai blinked when his eyes burned; he shifted on his feet and turned back to his companions.

"Excuse me. I see someone I wish to speak with." He bowed, accepted the farewells and then moved toward Gippal, pressing through the pockets of people moving around.

"—aoac yna y payidevim lumun?" Gippal grinned as Baralai grew close enough to hear. "Nice and slow."

Baralai's stomach twisted as he came up on Gippal and his guest. He was caught off guard, not expecting to hear Gippal's voice drawl in that way, deep in a way it only was when he spoke Al Bhed or—Baralai flushed, but refused to look around to see if anyone was watching him make a fool of himself. He took a deep breath and wondered if it was a good idea to speak to Gippal right now—he'd only be torturing himself until they were able to leave. Maybe not even then, if the boat back to Luca was crowded, unless?

"Just use that, he'll be like putty in your hands." Gippal looked up in time to see Baralai through a gap in the passing crowd, and tossed up a hand in greeting. "Going to come over, or just stare?"

Baralai's knees were shaking as he approached, but his hand was steady when he greeted Gippal's guest. "Hello."

She flushed as she looked at him, and her hand was damp and warm. "Hi."

Gippal nudged her with his hip. "This is Calli." He winked at her. "Don't be scared of Baralai, he only looks intimidating." Gippal was all lazy arms and legs, disregarding his posture—and his hair was a mess, as well. Baralai knew these things should bother him, but they were only distracting him more. It took him only a few seconds to decide, and he knew he was out of his mind. He had been this way since Gippal had cornered him in the temple three weeks previous and put his hands everywhere. Baralai could pin the blame for this restlessness squarely on Gippal's shoulders.

"I'm afraid I need to borrow Gippal for a moment."

"Oh, sure, no problem," Calli said. "I was just heading out." She glanced at Gippal. "Thanks for the advice."

Baralai waited until she turned away, and then headed out of the crowd, trusting Gippal to follow him. They weaved through the throng of voices and bodies, and Baralai knew exactly where he was going—he had been shown earlier in the day during his tour. He was crazy, he should turn around, but he didn't—it was better to be honest with oneself. After all, there was no guarantee the boat back to Luca would offer any privacy at all.

"What's up?" Gippal fell into step beside him as they turned a corner and were taken into a hall along the edge of the building, narrow and deserted. They were on the opposite side of the building from sunset, and the space was shadowed. "You're being all mysterious, am I being shown some secrets of New Yevon?"

Baralai smiled. "New Yevon no longer keeps secrets."

"Right, you just keep preaching that." Gippal rubbed his head. "Seriously, where're we—whoa!" He almost lost his footing as Baralai stopped and tugged him through a half-open door, into an empty room. Baralai's boots sank into the carpets spread along the floor as he pulled Gippal after him. He shut the door with his foot and then shoved Gippal back against the wall to kiss him, desperate and hurried, licking air and shock out of Gippal's mouth.

Baralai could still hear the low murmur of the crowd they had left behind, but it was muffled compared to the harsh sound of Gippal's breathing. The room was dusty and dark and disused but Baralai didn't care; all he had wanted was a place to get his hands on Gippal. He wasn't going to be picky.

"Baralai—" Gippal's breath caught again as Baralai trailed his mouth across Gippal's jaw to his throat. He tugged the snap on Gippal's pants that didn't want to cooperate. "What—" Gippal groaned and shoved into Baralai's palm as Baralai mouthed his neck. "You're crazy," he said, before he started tugging at Baralai's robes, hands frantic.

Baralai shuddered and rested his head against Gippal's shoulder, trembling. "You were talking to—" Baralai took deep breaths as Gippal traced a hand onto Baralai's chest over his heart. Baralai sighed with the pleasure of Gippal's rough palms against his skin. "That girl."

Gippal cupped Baralai's neck with his other hand and pulled Baralai's mouth down to his, quick and hard. Gippal's lips curved against Baralai's mouth when he pulled back, breath hot on Baralai's face. "Jealous? Guess I should talk to more women."

Baralai was warring with himself; he hoped no one had seen them come in this specific room, but it was still dangerous. He didn't know what he had been thinking, except that it still seemed like an amazing idea. Gippal's pants finally parted under his fingers, so Baralai could slip his hand in, the edge of Gippal's loose belt scratching his arm—there was no going back now. "You should speak Al Bhed like that more often." Baralai was glad for the darkness as he said it, bold in a way he had never been before—he was surprised his voice didn't shake.

Gippal's head hit the wall as Baralai's hand closed around him. "What in the—speak Al Bhed?" He sounded confused, but swelled under Baralai's palm regardless.

"To me." He stroked up once, as slow as he could, and licked the jumping pulse on Gippal's neck, smiling when he felt the flush of Gippal's skin against his lips. "To me, Gippal. Right now."

Gippal shuddered and arched into Baralai's fist, but followed directions. "Fru yna oui, yht fryd ryja oui tuha fedr Baralai?" Buckles rattled and tapped against the wall as he rocked up, breath coming in quick gasps. He fell silent and Baralai stopped, moving back to almost press their mouths together, his lips hovering.

"Keep talking," he said, feeling turned on and dirty and amazing, all at once. He could do this—ask this. Gippal would let him, and trust him, and it made Baralai's head spin.

"So—oui'na hidc, frah tet drec cdynd—" Gippal pressed his forehead to Baralai's. The leather of his eye-patch was worn and warm on Baralai's skin as Baralai traced his tongue along Gippal's lips. Gippal moaned as Baralai squeezed and slid a now-slick hand back and forth and ignored the quick nudges of Gippal's hips, hints to go faster. "Oui'na y dayc—"

Baralai twisted his fingers and Gippal's words were lost amid incoherent noises that could have been anything. Baralai's blood was racing in his ears, and he wished it wasn't dark so he could see Gippal falling to pieces under his hand.

"Ev oui cdub—" Gippal's voice skipped, words mixing with quick, soft moans. "'Lai, 'Lai, bmayca—" His voice went deeper, to the tone that made Baralai's whole body ache. The words fell from Gippal's mouth faster, unintelligible and run-together. Baralai quickened his pace, Gippal's hips meeting him on every stroke, easy and comfortable as he cried out and gripped any part of Baralai had could reach. Baralai pressed their mouths together as Gippal spilled over his hand, back arching off the wall, trapping Baralai's arm between them.

Gippal's voice was still shaky, no hint of joking present that Baralai could hear. "You've lost it." He leaned forward to rest his head on Baralai's shoulder, breath warming the fabric as Baralai wiped his hand on his belt. He would have to remember to take it off before he left the room.

"Perhaps." Gippal ran hands down his sides, almost a tickle, but Baralai could feel the tremble in them even as Gippal squeezed his clothes.

"Not that I'm complaining but—" Gippal leaned back, and Baralai knew if it wasn't pitch-black he would be getting that look Gippal gave things that intrigued him. "You do know there's about a hundred people out there."

Baralai laughed. "I'm living on the edge. Aren't you always lecturing me?"

Gippal was quick, and Baralai didn't expect it so he had the breath knocked out of him when his back met the wall. Gippal pressed a kiss to Baralai's mouth before sliding to his knees, and Baralai gaped down into darkness as Gippal tugged at his pants. "Gippal?" Baralai's legs were shaking, but Gippal only snorted and pressed his mouth to Baralai's bare hip.

"Glad you've finally decided to get with me in hands on research." Gippal's voice was full of laughter as he made Baralai arch forward. "Or something like it."


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Drawing of me, hair up messily, smiling.

[personal profile] shanaqui
2007-07-07 11:00 pm UTC (link)
*fanning self* Nay, write more porn plz. Srsly.

I did spot some typos, though. I should've made a note as I went through, but I didn't want to stop reading and overanalyse it, y'know? These are the ones I found again:

They were on the opposite side of the building from sunset, and the space was shadowed "You're...
Missing punctuation between 'shadowed' and the speech. :3

"Keeping talking," he said
The 'ing', obviously.

"Perhaps." Gippal's ran hands down his sides
Unnecessary 's.

(Including clarification not 'cause I think you're an idiot, but I find that if someone doesn't tell me what's wrong, I don't necessarily notice it. The eye sees what the mind thinks is there and all that. And now I'm taking so long over this, I bet someone else comments first.)

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[identity profile] bottle-of-shine.livejournal.com
2007-07-07 11:11 pm UTC (link)
I guess it's probably just because I wrote it, that it feels weird. I don't think I did a bad job! BUT STILL, 34% MORTIFIED. I'm told it get easier!

Your edits are appreciated and applied! Thank you so much for alerting me to the fact I pasted my second draft instead of my final one because I'm a moron! A+ on the effort!

*snugs!*

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Drawing of me, hair up messily, smiling.

[personal profile] shanaqui
2007-07-07 11:25 pm UTC (link)
It does indeed! I can assure you of that. :3

And honestly, after I read this I was tempted to email you and flail at you. I loved it. :D

You posting Gippal/Baralai is making me want to write fics about them again, but they're not a pairing I'm super-confident with right now. Weep. ;_;

Meanwhile, have I ever recommended The Dark Is Rising Sequence to you? I'm sure I have, but I want to do it again. >> Avoid the movie at all costs, but the books are glorious. I mentioned some of my reasons for that here. >>

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[identity profile] bottle-of-shine.livejournal.com
2007-07-08 01:38 am UTC (link)
:D I am glad you liked it! To say I was very very nervous would be an understatement. You and Rina and Sev! I WANT TO IMPRESS YOU ALL. >.>

Go back to source for awhile! I uh, have probably played X-2 more than FFVIII at this point for every X-2 story I've written. That helps me with Gippal, because he is wily. *hug!*

Also, you might have recced it but I get so many I lose track. IS THIS YOUR SNEAKY PLAN TO GET ME TO WRITE PORN FOR IT? Because if so, I am totally for it. XD

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Drawing of me, hair up messily, smiling.

[personal profile] shanaqui
2007-07-08 01:44 am UTC (link)
Haha. :D You certainly impressed me!

I'm getting there -- I'm playing all the FFs in order, and I'm only on III now!

The active fandom is so small! ;_; And people are kind of reluctant to slash nine year olds and eleven year olds. But there's an easy way out -- I just age them up first. :D There can even be language kink what with Bran being Welsh-speaking Welsh and the others being English. :p

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[identity profile] bottle-of-shine.livejournal.com
2007-07-08 01:47 am UTC (link)
I'm pretty sure once I slashed some goombas. And some 12 year olds. I'M LOOKING AT YOU, FFXII AND AVATAR. I'm totally going to hell.

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Drawing of me, hair up messily, smiling.

[personal profile] shanaqui
2007-07-08 01:48 am UTC (link)
Oh, me and Lisa have roleplayed it with the youngest character still being really young. >> Hell, special levels, etc, etc. And kghjkdbg you have no idea how cute said youngest character is. He uses insults like cleversticks!!!! He'd have my heart if Lisa didn't have a prior claim.

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[identity profile] bottle-of-shine.livejournal.com
2007-07-08 11:07 pm UTC (link)
Well, my library seems to have them! So hopefully I will grab them soon if they're actually on shelf (my library has a bad habit of losing books D: or only having a few books of a series).

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[identity profile] chaosraven.livejournal.com
2007-07-07 11:05 pm UTC (link)
I filled out your poll, even though I don't know the characters. >D If only you loved your OTHER otps this much! *sobs again*

I tease you because I LOVE.

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[identity profile] bottle-of-shine.livejournal.com
2007-07-08 01:34 am UTC (link)
You know just as well as I do my heart belongs forever to Seifer/Zell. ;) It's likely that my attachment is UNHEALTHY. >.>

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I
[identity profile] kunstarniki.livejournal.com
2007-07-07 11:22 pm UTC (link)
There are a few more careless errors the first poster missed. I shall be cruel and let you find them yourself. ;)

This is unique to me and perfectly plausible. A certain tone of voice is most definitely provocative. I have lately read speculation that some women do that baby voice in order to attract men. Well, maybe some men. This is a sort of 'talk dirty to me' scenario with 'talk Al Bhed' as the operative phrase. You manage to portray the growing frenzy of sexual excitment with great fidelity. I think you have a distinct gift in this line. ;)

And, just so you know, I do not think this is porn. To my eye and ear it is another way to reveal the very 'human' natures of the two men. It is not explicit for the sake of arousing prurient interests, at least I do not think so. You are adding another tessera to the mosaic of the characters. I do wish people could treat sexuality the way they do other appetites. (That applies to me as well.)

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Re: I
[identity profile] bottle-of-shine.livejournal.com
2007-07-08 01:29 am UTC (link)
Ikon, that's just needless cruelty. ;)

Thank you for your comment. I think this proves that you could totally do it well, too. If I can do it, you can do it! XD

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[identity profile] feywood.livejournal.com
2007-07-07 11:28 pm UTC (link)
nnnnnnnnngh

Nay, you need to write more porn. plz?
How telling is it that this is the stuff I comment on? XD

As for language kink?
Yes. Please. More.
It exists. I have it. >_>

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Drawing of me, hair up messily, smiling.

[personal profile] shanaqui
2007-07-07 11:46 pm UTC (link)
It exists. I have it. >_>

Pity I can't speak Welsh yet, then.

*hijacks Nay's comments*

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[identity profile] bottle-of-shine.livejournal.com
2007-07-08 01:33 am UTC (link)
Sexy time in the comments! *approves!*

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[identity profile] bottle-of-shine.livejournal.com
2007-07-08 01:32 am UTC (link)
PRETTY TELLING! I knew you were only it in for the sex! I KNEW IT. Whatever, fandom is totally for porn. ;)

Ho ho, so I'm not alone! That's excellent to know, so basically I can write stories like these often and leave you a huge puddle! Thank you for sharing your weakness!

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[identity profile] feywood.livejournal.com
2007-07-08 01:41 am UTC (link)
Well it helps that you've got them so spot on and all. ^^;
Baralai the sex maniac ftw.

Pretty much, yes! Observe as I do not complain!
It's not just foreign languages either. Dork linguistics at me and I'm yours.

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[identity profile] bottle-of-shine.livejournal.com
2007-07-08 01:45 am UTC (link)
Hee, thank you! ♥ ♥

I wish more people wrote pieces with this theme! The game even gave us a language, cipher though it may be! And I hardly see people working with it. a;lsdj;alsd I am greedy. >>

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[identity profile] feywood.livejournal.com
2007-07-08 02:05 am UTC (link)
I, I- I would try but I do not live up to the standards already set. xDD
Still, Al Bhed dirty talk. Ur pypo. *fans self*

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Drawing of me, hair up messily, smiling.

[personal profile] shanaqui
2007-07-08 01:47 am UTC (link)
Dork linguistics at me and I'm yours.

I'd take note, but I already know that.

*tries to think of a linguistic comment to make*

...All the comments totally obey the approbration maxim (maximise praise, minimise dispraise). 8D Discourse conventions ftw.

I KEEP HIJACKING YOUR COMMENTS, NAY. I'M SORRY.

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MAYBE IF I KEEP ENCOURAGING IT, THERE WILL BE WORD SEX.
[identity profile] bottle-of-shine.livejournal.com
2007-07-08 01:49 am UTC (link)
I'm full of lulz over it! I HAD TO READ THAT THREE TIMES TO UNDERSTAND. English skills FTW.

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[identity profile] feywood.livejournal.com
2007-07-08 01:56 am UTC (link)
...Damn you, woman. *does a sexy dance*

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[identity profile] siva630.livejournal.com
2007-07-08 12:01 am UTC (link)
This is so hot.

I don't even really know who Baralai is (shows how much attention I paid to FFX-2 D:). Gippal is kind of a blurry character for me, too, but from what I remember--he's hot!

More porn! I demand to see this unpublished Seifer/Zell you told me about!

Also, on the nitpick side of things:

designed with a eye toward Kilika's culture
"an eye"

it had turned toward members of the community rather than then dedication of the building
"than the"?

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[identity profile] bottle-of-shine.livejournal.com
2007-07-08 01:25 am UTC (link)
*rolls around in this comment!* Your stamp of approval is TOTALLY AWESOME. Um! *flails!* Way back when we had a conversation about the word cock in porn, and how we both wished people would just GO FOR IT. And look what I do, write some without using it once. I fail at even meetings my own demands. ;)

ALSO! You need to know who Baralai is! FFX-2 is a really good game and Baralai is really hot deep and interesting!. If you ever get an itch to play it again, man, DO IT. I'm not biased at all!

Uh, well, writing S/Z porn is HARDER. It's easy with characters who won't freak out when they admit they're actually attracted to someone *coughSeifercough*.

Thank you for the comment, and for the fixes. :D

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[identity profile] siva630.livejournal.com
2007-07-08 09:57 am UTC (link)
oh my shit, i just searched baralai

I am now compelled to steam through the rest of FFXII (as long as there are no more bastards like the first Demon Wall or the Elder Wyrm adkshadkajshdkjasd THE ANGST NEVER STOPS) and then play FFX-2. And maybe replay FFX beforehand. And maybe FFIX afterhand.

A VERY FINAL FANTASY SUMMER FOR ME HORRAY.

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[identity profile] bottle-of-shine.livejournal.com
2007-07-08 08:40 pm UTC (link)
HA. I knew it! Baralai is hot stuff.

FFXII, WHY are you 80 hours long! PLEASE GO FASTER. Balthier is pretty, but Baralai has a codpiece, which makes him at least 4% hotter. >>

I VOTE FFX/X-2 REVIVAL?

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I'm not coming out until the stupid people have gone away.  ....I can wait all day.

[personal profile] lassarina
2007-07-08 12:53 am UTC (link)
languagekink ftfw, Nay. Ftfw.

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[identity profile] bottle-of-shine.livejournal.com
2007-07-08 01:18 am UTC (link)
I guess this means you approve? ;)

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I'm not coming out until the stupid people have gone away.  ....I can wait all day.

[personal profile] lassarina
2007-07-08 01:20 am UTC (link)
On a scale of 1 to 5, OMG WTF RITE MOAR PLZ!!!!!!!!

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mmm
[identity profile] iamleaper.livejournal.com
2007-07-08 05:37 am UTC (link)
Baralai so has a language kink. Probably because I have a language kink, and when I heard Gippal speak Al Bhed in the game, I know I flushed. Seriously. In other words, I totally agree.

I love reading explicit work like this. I get so shy and flustered when I write it myself, but it helps to read other people's works. (I have an upcoming scene in a fic that will require explicitness, and I have to stop being 12 get over myself.) I think you handled it well. I like all of Gippal's cut off sentences, and the way you can just tell he's slowly becoming unable to form coherent thoughts into patterns of words. ;)

(One thing which I'm not too sure I would change -- I'd like to see some translation. However, I'm not sure how you could do it successfully (except perhaps as a mouseover?) and, indeed, not having the translation there adds to the exotic feeling portrayed in the work and helps the reader understand Baralai. Perhaps at the end? I don't know. Having no translation usually makes me stop reading a fic, but here it works out so well that we don't even need to know what he's saying... but anyway. ^^);

I am a linguist by training, and I've actually thought a bit about why the Al Bhed language does that to us (as fans). I know the thing about Al Bhed that gets people is the many consonants in the back of the mouth. There are lots of /g/ and /k/ and /u/ (which isn't a consonant, but is still in the back) which English speakers usually associate with so-called "attractive" accents (such as French, which is also a lot of "back" consonants and vowels). However, Al Bhed is harder with lots of stops, so it merges the "back-romantic-exotic" quality from languages like French with the "harsh-forceful-etc." feel of languages like German. Put them together, and what do we have? ;)

That's just my initial reaction to thinking about it. I've always wanted to do a phonemic analysis of Al Bhed to prove these sorts of things, but then I think that would put me into the Ultimate Realm of Academic Geekdom, and then I would fail at getting a real job anywhere. ;)

Anyway, great work, I enjoyed reading it, and I'll be in my bunk. >.>;

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Re: mmm
[identity profile] bottle-of-shine.livejournal.com
2007-07-08 08:25 pm UTC (link)
I totally have a language kink and sort of wish there had been entire sections of game where Gippal spoke in Al Bhed, for the benefit of said kink. I want to find every cutscene where he does it, now. For...research. >.>

I think I'm less shy about it and more worried that a) it will just come off as pointless sex, meaning I've failed at making the reader want anything from the act or b) that I will have to use the word cock and end up laughing for fifteen minutes! That's fifteen minutes of writing down the tubes! I actually use a lot of different guides, like this one (http://trickster.org/res/howtowrite.html) or this one (http://cupidsbow.livejournal.com/194295.html) (although this (http://community.livejournal.com/writercon/160637.html) is also good for lulz). The first was helpful for me on a theory level and the second more on a practical one, because of how it approached the sex scene as an action scene. I also suck at action. Cursed!

Yeah, I debated about the translation thing? The translations were in my final draft at the bottom, but as stated elsewhere I copy/pasted my second draft instead, because I am a moron. Surprisingly, I like how that works out, since Baralai doesn't know what Gippal is saying. It wouldn't work for something with plot, ho ho, but yeah, here it's kind of like...a;dskj;asdjas Sorry, I think about it, and it's hot. Oh, Gippal, I'm going to abuse you so much more.

That's really interesting about the language? I've never thought about it before in that way. Put them together and apparently you get a lot of fangirls going, "OMG YES PLZ." I am really, seriously not sure how I tapped into this thing I thought was um, just me being weird. >.>

I'm glad you liked it! Thank you. :D ♥

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Re: mmm
[identity profile] iamleaper.livejournal.com
2007-07-08 10:11 pm UTC (link)
P.S. You should pimp these sorts of things in [livejournal.com profile] gippalxbaralai -- this one was already pimped for you though. ;)

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Re: mmm
[identity profile] bottle-of-shine.livejournal.com
2007-07-08 11:09 pm UTC (link)
Hahaha, it's hard when people beat me to it. >.> *didn't expect that*

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[identity profile] papercutperfect.livejournal.com
2007-07-08 12:19 pm UTC (link)
Argh, this was wonderful! Your work always is. I especially love how you wrote Baralai in this. I get bored with him always being the shy submissive one, so it's great to see this twist.

Hehe, thank Yevon for Al Bhed translators.

Gaab ib dra myhkiyka gehg!

I'm such a dork -_-

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[identity profile] bottle-of-shine.livejournal.com
2007-07-08 08:37 pm UTC (link)
:D I'm glad you liked it. Thank you so much. ♥

I haven't read much with Baralai being submissive? Not to say he couldn't be (oh god, I don't need more porn bunnies! OR DO I?) but the things I have read with him in that role fell into male/female gender roles. I like het, but not in my Baralai/Gippal fic. ;)

Keep it up I will. Apparently now I need to write the story where Gippal has the same desire for Baralai to do this, cue: my boyfriend is totally hot when he speaks my language.

We can be dorks together. *snugs!*

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[identity profile] first-seventhe.livejournal.com
2007-07-09 08:26 pm UTC (link)
!!!!!

DOMINANT!SNEAKY!MOLESTER!BARALAI. GIPPAL SPEAKING AL BHED. Oh, yes, Nay, there can be language!kink. There can be lots of language!kink. And by that, I mean, UM PLEASE WRITE MORE.

He shut the door with his foot and then shoved Gippal back against the wall to kiss him, desperate and hurried, licking air and shock out of Gippal's mouth. THIS IMAGE IS SO HOT

And the paragraph in which Gippal calls him "'Lai" and mumbles in Al Bhed and loses control is pretty much ravishingly awesome.

I totally love them. I love the way you write them and the banter and how Baralai is nervous but does it anyway because it's a totally awesome idea. You're reviving my interest in X-2; I seriously think I've picked up more characterization from reading your fics than I did in the game. (although I, uh, didn't finish X-2 so that might be it.)

In conclusion: Y, PLZ.

- - -
Typo patrol!

Baralai blinked when he eyes burned, he shifted on his feet and turned back to his companions. -- "his eyes"? I think? Also, perhaps, a semi-colon? Depending on what you meant in that sentence.

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[identity profile] bottle-of-shine.livejournal.com
2007-07-20 01:32 pm UTC (link)
I am late with reply! But it's better than two months, which is my normal responding time!

I am really glad I risked writing this! Because here I was, thinking, "wow, language kink! I'm a freak!" when in actuality, all you whores HAD THE SAME KINK and WEREN'T TELLING ME. laksfj;alkjsfa

I can get behind reviving your interest in X-2! Yes, plz! I know I am like three years late for the fandom and it's a pariah, anyway, but I just want to roll in it. IT HAS NOT BEEN PORNED ENOUGH, IS WHAT I'M SAYING. E-expect more language kink? Um.

Also, thank you for catching the error! I have fixed it. :D

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OMGRITEMROEPLZ
(Anonymous)
2007-07-20 07:30 am UTC (link)
You pulled that off so well. It's a good thing that my cat was next to me or I might of...Well. Anyway.

Your totally right about the whole Baralia The Not So Shy In Bed thing. It's so old having him being all timid and all.

Anyway. Hotness. Write more, please.

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Re: OMGRITEMROEPLZ
[identity profile] bottle-of-shine.livejournal.com
2007-07-20 01:36 pm UTC (link)
Hee! I totally think Baralai wouldn't necessarily be shy—I didn't get a timid vibe from him at all. So this turned out okay, I think! I'm glad you liked it. ♥

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*drool*
[identity profile] wakka-luver.livejournal.com
2007-08-06 05:11 am UTC (link)
So I am waaaaaaaaayyyy late replying to this, but I am sweating entirely too much for this story to go uncommented.

*is angry at self for not finding this sooner*

Good gravy, I'll never be able to play FFX-2 without giggling now...

You do of course realize that I'm going to go replay it again anyway, just to hear Gippal speak in Al Bhed, and then giggle shamelessly like a little schoolgirl when he does, ALL BECAUSE OF YOU! WAY TO GO, NAY!! I just lost 10 more Man-Points thanks to you and your illegally-delicious porn!

But seriously though, this is like a chocolate-coated Baralai fudgebar with a back massage following immediately afterwords. That's how happy this makes me. Thank you.


*insert cold shower here*

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Re: *drool*
[identity profile] bottle-of-shine.livejournal.com
2007-09-02 04:25 pm UTC (link)
So of course, I am way late replying to this comment. I rock.

It's probably wrong of me to imagine a story in which Baralai and Gippal actually give and take away Man Points from each other (I mean, doesn't Paine have respect points?). Gippal would ruffle Baralai's hair, Baralai would find a reflection and fix it, Gippal would mock him, Baralai would mess up Gippal's hair and Gippal would do the same thing...and they'd both lose Man Points. STEREOTYPES ARE AWESOME?

I'm glad you liked the story. Thank you for commenting. ♥

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[identity profile] xenobia4.livejournal.com
2008-06-24 01:01 am UTC (link)
Ha--. I'm all in. ^.~ Of course...Baralai as a seme...I'm all for that. And yes. Language can most DEFINATELY be used as a kink! Hell if it can't, ya know?!

Loved the fic, by the way. Made me wanna say "-rawr-."

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[identity profile] raserei-hojo.livejournal.com
2008-07-12 03:48 am UTC (link)
Mantouching, manfondling, absolute brilliance.

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