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Renay ([personal profile] renay) wrote2008-01-26 02:20 am

(fic) (ffx-2) the damages of loss - 26

Only five sections left. akjsdhakjshd what happened to this month!

The Damages of Loss (26)
(Baralai/Gippal, 1,388 words, PG)
"Yet man is born unto trouble, as the sparks fly upward."

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26

Gippal slipped over the wet grass, cold on his bare feet with dew. His head was fuzzy with the wine that had been finding its way into his hand all night. It reminded him of the fat berries the Al Bhed used to sell during blitz tournaments, red and rich and sweet in the back of his throat when he would nab some and then hog them all from whatever crew he was on at the time.

It was cold away from the huge bonfire in the center of the village, party still raging, not late enough for some of the kids to have gone to bed yet. Gippal had watched Baralai walk off an hour before, but hadn't followed. The arch of his spine had told Gippal he wanted to be alone.

However many of the villagers had rallied to Baralai's side after Wakka explained things there were just as many that refused to believe it could be possible. Gippal didn't like Baralai going off alone, but he had plopped down beside Tidus on a log and watched, making sure no one followed.

He was tired of watching.

"'Lai! Time to come back."

"You're so drunk."

Gippal almost fell over when Baralai spoke out of the shadows. Gippal headed toward his voice and then almost tripped over him, tumbling to the ground. He laughed and straightened his legs. "I'm fine."

"You sound like you're in slow motion."

Gippal couldn't see him still. He was too deep in the wood, close to the rocky edge of Besaid's east side, away from where the fire lit anything. "Okay, maybe a little. Tidus just kept giving it to me, though."

Baralai rolled and Gippal ended up pressed against the grass, shirt soaking from the wet grass. "You don't know how to say no," he said.

"Sure I do. No, I definitely do not want you to move." Gippal wriggled. "Why'd you leave?"

"People staring. It gets old after awhile, and I felt bad feeling happy for anyone." He moved away.

Gippal's expression was wasted when he realized Baralai probably couldn't see it. New moons were stupid, anyway, and always around when he didn't need them. "Ignore them."

"I'm not so good at it yet. You don't have to keep me company."

"At least go back to our tent so I know you're not getting beaten out here in the dark." Worry was going to become the defining trait this time around. The old Baralai could handle a few fists in the dark and wouldn't have needed both hands. If it happened now, he'd probably roll over and let them take free kicks and thank them for the pleasure. Gippal groaned and rubbed his head. "Ow."

"You're going to feel terrible tomorrow. Go drink some water and go to bed."

"Only if you'll come with me." The rush of heat against Gippal's side made him grin. "Well, not for that, but if you're thinking about it..." He only fumbled a little before twisting up. He slid a leg between Baralai's. "I agree."

"You're—you're crazy."

"We've been crazy in worst places than a dark forest." He bent his head to run his mouth along Baralai's jaw, but missed and got his throat instead. He made due with it, licking the salt from his skin. "One day I'll have to make you a list."

"We did?" Uncertainty was all over him, making him shy away. "Well—of—of course we did."

He was warm in the cool air and Gippal arched against him. He liked the soft noise Baralai made, almost like a sigh. His hands gripped Gippal's biceps, tight and loose, like he couldn't decide whether he wanted to hang on or let go. Good friction was hit or miss through his pants, but it seemed like too much effort to mess with his own when Baralai shifted his hips.

Baralai had always worn so many layers, complicated and twisting and not helpful when Gippal wanted to tug him somewhere in the middle of the day. All that was gone, taken off and put away and Gippal tugged at the loose belt, slipped his hand inside.

"What—!" Baralai shoved at his hands and twisted under him, was twisting away, Gippal realized. "What are you doing?"

Gippal palmed the ground, locked his wrists so he wasn't pressing Baralai down anymore. The tone brought back memories he didn't want to think about, too familiar. Baralai hadn't told him no in a long time because he had shut Gippal out.

They weren't the same people here. One day he would have to let it go.

"Sorry," he said. "I just—habit."

Baralai was a murky outline in the dark below him; Gippal couldn't see his expression, but he was too tense now, all the lazy comfort Gippal had stumbled across gone. "I don't remember."

"What?" He was pissed, suddenly, way too aroused and frustrated to figure out what Baralai meant.

"I really don't want the first sex I remember to be on the ground, Gippal." Hurt and anger were as heavy as the dark around them. They were still pressed together, but so far away. He was afraid to move—afraid he wouldn't be welcome back. "I don't remember the other times with you. This is all new."

"I knew that." He did, but had ignored it—it didn't help his mood any to realize it. "I wouldn't have—whatever, sorry. I was out of line."

Baralai ran his hands up Gippal's sides under his arms, broke the hold so Gippal couldn't press the ground away anymore. "It wasn't—we can, just not here."

Baralai talked through his nerves. The first time it had been just them, fumbling and awkward, but good. Gippal kept having to remind himself that part two of this story left him knowing more. No fumbling from him. He shifted his weight, let his shoulder hit the ground. "So sentimental. It's different."

"I still want to take off your pants," Baralai said, tentative teasing. "I'm not a useless boyfriend."

"You're a riot." Gippal rolled them, once, twice, through freshly wet grass. Long stalks brushed his arms as they stopped in a patch of high growth and Gippal dipped his head to run his tongue along Baralai's lips. "You need candles, too? Some extra soft pillows?"

Baralai laughed under him when Gippal licked his neck and shuddered when he blew a breath across his skin. "No, just some privacy. I get so tired of never being able to be alone."

Gippal laid his head on Baralai's chest, listened to his heart beat, found a rhythm that blended in his head with the murmurings of the crowd yards away. He closed his eyes. "After this is over, we'll go somewhere and be alone for however long you want."

Baralai ran his fingers along Gippal's neck, traced patterns into hair. "The stars are different here."

"Hmm?" Baralai's voice was a purr in his ear. He could sleep like this.

"They change. I can pick out patterns here I couldn't at Zanarkand." His fingers stilled. "Do you remember the phrase for Remiem?"

"Ehdu dra—sorry, sorry." He shifted, sat up. "Into the valley of reborn stars." He lifted his head, even though he could still only make out the shock of Baralai's hair in the dark. "Stupid kind of riddle. The stars never change in all the valleys I know of."

"But what if they did?" Baralai sat up and Gippal rolled to the side. "Home is really far to the west?"

"Yeah, so what?"

"What's past Bikanel?"

"Water. Lots of it. You'd just fly for days and hit the Thunder Plains." He stood, wiped his hands on his pants. "We've flown that way before. There are weird metal deposits that throw off all our readings." He held out a hand, hauled Baralai up. "What are you thinking?"

Baralai shook his head. "I was just—it's nothing." He squeezed Gippal's hand. "Want to go back and ply me with wine?"

"Why not," he said, and tucked Baralai under his arm as they climbed the hill back toward the fire.

[identity profile] 2008-01-26 11:31 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, this is so cute. I love everything about the scene.